Monday Morning Check-In: Happy Fourth of July

Monday Morning Check-In

Good Monday Morning everyone and a Happy Fourth of July to all of my followers that live in the United States.  I hope you all have a wonderful holiday spent with the ones you love!  Try to get some reading in between the BBQ and fireworks.  My husband and I usually spend the evening sitting on the side of the road reading waiting for a fireworks show.   This is such a complicated holiday for me, some years are good, some bad.  This year feels like it is going to be a weepy one…

This Fourth marks the 29 year since my mother’s death.  Losing someone you love is never easy or fair, but when it happens on a national holiday you never get to escape it.  Every year there is this huge celebration that reminds you ‘hey, remember what happen today…”. I’ve lost most of my family already and my mother’s death is still the one that hits the hardest.  Of course, that might have to do with the fact that I liked her best, but I think it has a bit to do with every year is marked by fireworks.  The other losses are permitted to pass unnoticed and unmarked because they took place on a normal day of the year.  So this year, I will attend the fireworks in the town where I grew up, where I used to watch the display in our front yard with my mom (dad and brother too…) and our neighbors.  I will walk by our house and up to her grave where I will visit my family with the current center of my universe.  Then we will return to our car and enjoy the show for another year as I remember what life was like once before I was set adrift.

everything I did for the rest of my life—would only separate us more and more- days she was no longer a part of, an ever-growing distance between us. Every single day for the rest of my life, she would only be further